Taiwan Home Alone

This time is less stress. Wonder why? Because I am jobless and half self-employed so I don't have to worry about the dogs left unattended while I'm unable to apply long leave to stay at home with them.

The great news is I operated the washing machine by myself *show off proudly*. Yay!!!

And the most depress news is thinking about what to eat is a pain in the ass! I am really not the cooking type. Perhaps if eating and cooking comes with a companion, I might be motivated to cook proper food.

Day 1 - Showered Fifi. Washed her cage. Ate leftover rice and vegetables with some frozen fish balls soup. Continue painting.

Day 2 - Showered Gordon. Cut his super long nails. Bought brunch outside. Ate leftover brunch for dinner. Yum Cha with Elaine till midnight.

Day 3 - Laundry day. Defects follow-up for new house. Ate tuna with corn sandwich for brunch. Prepared all ingredients for cooking. Cooked fried rice for dinner.

Day 4 - *evil* Big plans. To clean up the fridge. All expired food, ingredients and sauces from packed food needs to be dumped for health reasons. This can only be done at this golden opportunity whenever the stubborn lady is not at home. 

To be continued....

How do you judge friendship?

hmnnnn.... most of the female story i have encountered sound like this. there's a ship. she doesn't have much space so at any 1 time, she could only bring 1 person into her ship. after sailing for months, she felt tired so she stopped at the bank to rest. FRIEND came along so she invited him/her onboard. So FRIENDship went sailing together. Soon, ship stopover for maintenance. Then RELATION came along and persuaded ship to sail with him. Ship said yes! So FRIEND needs to leave in order for RELATIONship to sail together. Many months later, they fought and ship decided to kick RELATION out. Then she felt lonely and realized FRIEND was left waiting at petrol station so she quickly sail back to pick him/her up. Ship waited and waited but FRIEND was nowhere to be found so ship became NONMEMBERship. Ship have no choice but to sail back alone again.

~THE END~

Chiang Mai Home Alone

It’s a habit to blog every time my family is away for vacation. I forgot to blog about it the last time they travelled to Guilin. Nothing much happened except I finally picked up the phone asked my friend to teach me how to use the washing machine. Yes! I AM PROUD TO ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THE WASHING MACHINE! Hahaha and I still don’t know how to use the machine till today. But I am glad this time none of the fur kids at home were injured or sick. My home alone session at home was more peaceful and manageable.

This time my family went to Chiang Mai. Should there be no flight delay, they should have landed by this time which means my freedom being home alone will end soon in 1 hour once they reach home. What are the challenges and learning this time?

Well a very sick dog. He’s got some cancer like growth at his hind right leg. He’s too old to risk the operation so we have decided to put him on long term medication and vitamins. Cleaning his wound is definitely a huge challenge. It felt like as though I am fixing a bomb. My sweat was running like an open tap even if I’m just sitting on ground. I feel like crying every second of it looking at the pain which he needs to bear with. I beg him to hang in there. Hopefully he will be able to recover and spend many more years with us.

Washing is piece of cake this time. I chose to hand wash this time. Yes I’m a loser!

I begin to love this family travelling at least once a year tradition. Although I am home alone but I am happy for many reasons. They get to travel and relax at home. I earned my couple of day’s short freedom. I appreciate them more because I do miss their company and everybody shares some house chores. I feel safe and secure when I am out for work or play because I know someone is at home taking care of the fur kids.

I’m gonna miss the following list of things which you do with no shame when you are home alone *chuckle*.

o   Do house chores in YOUR own style

o   Watch TV whole day. Zero nagging that the TV is hot and needs rest or else it will explode anytime

o   Eat after all top priorities completed

o   Quiet and quality moments. Zero interruption

o   Eat ice cream

o   Leave plates and mugs in the basin and wash later

o   Let the fur kids sleeps wherever they feel most comfortable and close to us

o   Leave the bed unattended
 

o   Shower with door opened plus walk in and out naked

Shit! They are back early. Good bye freedom at home. Welcome freedom outside!

 

 

Family? Home?

Cried so hard. Fell asleep.

What happens if someone cried so hard that they almost collapse?

I felt extremely tired. Am having difficulty to catch my breath. Also feeling the pressure in my head. Similar feeling like a brain freeze.

Some family fight because they don't have a home to stay. We fight because we have a new home. Luxury and ready to move in anytime. What a joke!

What does family means? What is the real purpose of a house/home? What's the point of living together but we are not united and we couldn't even understand the real meaning of tolerance?

Well said

Another brilliant one~~~
Tuesday, April 12, 2011


It's 3:05am



I thought I was ready

Ready to keep it all, zip it, and stash it away into the dust.

I thought I would be able

Able to face all distractions, be indifferent, and turn away without a second glance.

Yet, it would not spare me

Spare me of the misery, to open, that callus once more.

Now I am stuck

Stuck over caring about you, wanting you, and needing you.

Because you have given your care, love, and energy to someone else

Someone else before me, whom I am no match for.

All I could do is pray

Pray that you will take a look, at me, once more, and acknowldge my presence.

Then I know, I would be ready

Ready to move on, without, without any regrets.



Posted by ~ Thai Boxing Girl ~

Companion

It's Arthur's Day and J's birthday too. A day to raise your glass of Guinness. Now with extra reason. MK has finally proposed to J. A gang of 4 single friends. Each with unique background and success stories. K got married first and now with a baby girl. Although gay relationship is not legally accepted in Malaysia but I think S already considered himself happily married. Finally, the overdue proposal came and June is engaged too. I am most happy for 3 of them to have found their own happiness.

Suddenly reality has knocked on my door to remind me that I am all alone now. A woman with career & money to spend. That's all.

Was reading an old friend's blog during dinner in the restaurant. 1 of her entry touched my heart so much. I almost cry in public while reading the brilliant words. How could someone in this world wrote something which I planned to write everyday but never have the time to pen it down somewhere?

Monday, April 11, 2011

Is this what you are feeling?

A companion to drink with

A companion to catch a movie with

Someone whom I can have breakfast, lunch and dinner with

But friends could not stay forever as they have a life to live on the next day


A companion to go crazy with

A companion to travel the world with

Someone who understands my humour

My life would be blissfully complete with that someone


Happiness is halved when I could only share it with myself

Even a drinking a bowl of Chicken soup for the soul could not warm my heart

And my bed feels so largely empty no matter how cosy it is.


Happiness is halved when I have no one to share with but myself.

Although I tried very hard to fill up my days,

All the festivities and celebrations always reminded me of my loneliness.


I don’t want to think about it, and so what if I do think about it?

All I could do is to spend all my nights writing in my blog.

Those few comments could never soothe the sense of lost in my heart.


To be alone and emotionally burden-free is actually an emotional burden too.

Too much freedom can cause us to panic about getting lost in it eventually.

If you really envy the limitless freedom I have, how about let’s exchange our lives?

Happiness is halved when I could only share it with myself.

Although I tried very hard to fill up my days,

Nobody knows how lonely I actually am.

Posted by ~ Thai Boxing Girl ~

Bua hahahhaha

Clearing some really old emails. Found this from Aurora. Burst into laughter!

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Aaaawwww....

Who can resist such lovely eyes and sweet smile?

宝贝 我什么都给你!!!

Sleepy

Why I'm always sleepy after lunch? I hate this after lunch feeling everyday. Some said because of the curry. Some said because you had heavy lunch but I don't think so. I just came back from Subway. The sandwich which I ate contains more vegetables than meat and I drank mineral water and now I'm sleepy like hell! @_@

Lazy weekend

I hate to work on weekend. Why can't weekends be lazy with either hanging out with friends or laze at home for movie marathon?

I'm suppose to be preparing for handover but I am still managing new work. Bleh!

7 years 3 months

I did it! I resigned! 7 years is not a short stay in this favorite agency of mine. I always thought I will be very excited and happy to see my cruel boss' dropped jaw upon receiving this letter because I hate what I'm doing now and I hate it even further every time she yell at me in an open office environment.

At first the feeling is Phew! BUT....

then the feeling became awful after she told me she has been working all day outside + only slept 1 hour last night and on top of all this is the fifth bad news she has received today. I wanted to give her the letter on a better day but it seems like everyday is a bad day so I thought WTF!!! Just do it anyway!

I hate to give her this really bad news at the wrong day and wrong time but I have to be answerable to my new company who is willing to wait for me patiently too. Sigh.... why is it so difficult to make some decisions without hurting anyone?

I saw tears at the side of her eyes while she's talking about handover and she really need me to serve 3 months notice. She always complain about my work and performance so I thought if I resign, she will be cool like a cucumber. It hurts me to see such reactions from her. She is one tough lady who doesn't show the weak side of her in front of anyone no matter how bad the situation is BUT today she shed tears because I am leaving her and this account in 3 months time.

7 years of partnership... Well at least I know I am worth some tears from this cold & tough lady.

Embracing myself in deep loneliness

I must be desperately bored and lonely because I am chatting with my X on facebook now. Out of everyone in the list, I chose to chat with him. It was just some casual chat but while chatting I am tearing in from of my lappy. It was not because I'm still in love with him. We broke up 5 years ago and I am pretty sure that the relationship has come to a full stop. Am very close to telling him that I am unhappy and lonely. I just want someone familiar which I once trusted and close to to know how I feel about life now. Let me shed some tears. Lend me a shoulder or chest for comfort. But I just don't have the guts to do so. Sigh...

Home alone

10 days break. 3 dogs. A pool of fishes. 1 lady.

Days without parents and brother at home are fun and not fun at the same time. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made the right decision not to follow them to Melbourne. On one hand, I am glad that they get to go for a holiday without worries because there’s someone they can trust & rely on to take care of the house, pets and cars. On another hand, I am feeling lonely and stress managing work and house chores at the same time. But then again, no one at home means no nagging, no chasing, no forcing, no rules and I get plenty of time to clear up all those expired food and ingredients clogging up in the fridge. Muahahahaha… *evil*

Can’t believe there are 5 years old colourings and sauces in the fridge. Mum and her habit of keeping unwanted things. She always believes printed expiry dates are brought forward just in case some silly consumer forgot to check the expiry date before consumption. You can never throw away her things whenever she’s at home. This is a perfect time!

Dad finally gets to travel for a holiday. I am most happy for him. The last time he flew out of Malaysia was with mum & I when I was 2 and I just turned 30 few days ago. That was freaking 28 years ago. Dad has been working hard to sustain his business out there. His business is so competitive that he couldn’t afford to take any long leave to be away for vacation. And I know how much he’s dying to visit his friend oversea and travel somewhere far away for good food. His visa application was rejected too because a person who stops travelling for as long as 28 years suddenly travel so far may seem like he’s planning to work illegally to earn some easy money oversea.

Mum has travelled with brother to various countries several times but never gets a chance to travel with dad. This is like dream come to true for her.

As for my brother, he always wanted the whole family to travel together while everyone is still healthy and around. I want to do the same too but what about the 3 dogs at home? I rather sacrifice and stay at home with them.

Every day went fine except for Tuesday which is disastrous. It was my entire fault for being so careless. Or maybe I should blame it all on the bag of shits! Shouldn’t have put it above the unlock cage while I’m cleaning the cage. My dog ran away for 15 minutes. She came home full of deep cuts and covered with diesel dirt and rubbish smell. I was heartbroken to see her in bad shape. I can never forgive myself to cause all these pain which my dog has to bear. I don’t have proper medication and for few seconds I was so lost and panic. Thank god my lazy cousin was at home so she came to rescue us. Whole day was spent to clean up wounds and all the mess. It’s already close to evening. I haven’t even eaten or drink since morning. I feel like crying when I look at the dirty clothes soaking in Dynamo and 4 cars waiting for warm up. Dad’s lousy car window wouldn’t wind up so I have no choice but to leave it half opened and cover it with plastic bag then parked it in front of house gate instead so the fur boys can keep an eye on the car. By the time I finally settled down, it’s already close to 9.30pm.
The rest of the days are like in jail. All I do every day is feeding, picking up shits, washing clothes, spraying Ridsect, cooking brunch + dinner, rushing office work and stayed up in the middle of the night to take care of my ill dog. Her huge wound needs plenty of care to avoid fly laying eggs on the wound. I ended up sleeping at the sofa for nights.

I’ve gained plenty of experience throughout these days without my family members at home. While they are away, I played role as:

- A freelancer and housewife with 3 kids at home
- A worried mother with a seriously ill kid
- A single lady with a huge house, 3 dogs and a pool of fishes
- An adult who moved out from her parent’s house to earn some freedom and privacy but lonely and insecure

Sometimes when they are around, I’m dying for some freedom and privacy. But when they are not around, I miss them dearly. It’s a mixed feelings of happy and unhappiness. Thank god the tough days has finally come to an end. Freedom is 6 hours away. Can’t wait to see what they bought for me from Melbourne. Tomorrow is the day where I get to meet friends again, eat some decent food & sleep on a proper bed for full 8 hours. Yippee!!!

Little imperfections to perfection?

Wish I could open up my heart to show you how frustrated & upset I am now. Words may not describe it well. You can only feel it burning inside you with no clue on what else you could do to trigger some improvement on such never ending nonsense. Tell me if you can accept this kind of nonsense happening around you from time to time.

This is a girl with 3 years of working experience in Australia for relevant field whom already joined me for 8 months with full training by ME, MYSELF & I.

A smart girl with potential to grow some more with a pretty face? You got to be kidding me! Most people claimed beauty & brain usually don't exist altogether in a girl's system. And who doesn't want to hire a person with beauty & a brain these days? Being her mentor for so many months, I must say I can never be more glad to get someone like her who is willing to work for months under so many one leg kicking accounts. She can really work and is a fast learner. Most importantly, I can see there's hidden potential inside awaiting for chances to grow.

However,

here comes the exciting part...

every time she passes you a document, there will always be spelling errors, spacing issues & problems with consistency even after you asked her twice if she has done a thorough copy check. This never ending process happens at least twice a day.

Things which you have alerted NOT once but 2-3 times will not land on your table unless you keep reminding & pestering like an old lady. Tasks given in written format will be forgotten without reminders. 1 simple map or invite card revision will take 3-6 rounds of changes and sometimes dragged on for 2 days before you can send it out to client.

Sometimes the brain is fully functioning but sometimes the brain is like lack of oxygen for 3 seconds and suddenly everything is like shit! You can rely but not rely on her at times like this. Confrontation & direct comments didn't help. Bambuing also didn't help either. Patience and tolerance quota was also drained up. And still it happened over and over again. How else can you deal with it if it landed on you?

It drives me mad when unnecessary mistakes happen. It drives me even more mad when these little imperfections have to come from someone like her! Why does little imperfections to perfection always have to happen at the same time? Are they siblings? ...

Worry

I am beginning to worry about my health these days. I get tired so sudden and my body can change to sleep mode within seconds but after 15 minutes or so I will wake up and everything will get back to normal. I even snored while sleeping in sitting position. This is BAD! VERY BAD signs indeed. How am I suppose to share a room with 5 on my next trip? :(

Monday NO Blues

I am happy today ^__^. This is one very unusual Monday which I have no Monday Blues when I have to wake up early for work. Not because Spain won. I have had some quality rest over the weekend. Hence, I am not tired like usual Mondays. This is real awesome POWER NAP!!!

The other reason was I totally ignored my boss' indirect demand to attend the client's wedding by showing her some support. It's a super stressful and expensive wedding which I could not afford to deal with especially this month. Then again, I have also thrown away all pending works and headache behind which I couldn't be bothered with anymore.

I kept smiling from the moment the alarm clock rang till I reached the office.
Plenty of car parks is happy.
A quiet office without football is happy.
Passing by all Monday Blues faces is happy.
Cheung Fun for breakfast is happy.
Boss came around spreading her unhappiness & nonsense but I am still happy.

I'm beginning to miss Monday morning on 12 July 2010. May all the Mondays will be as awesome as today.

Embarrassing

Wednesday was only the second day I have to work alone without Aurora.

0430

Final warning to fill in my time sheet. Or else delay your next month salary.

0530

David is already here for the photo shoot briefing.

0700

Have to call Terry to discuss about 3D rendering opportunities.

0800

Done with Terry

0830

Too tired. Ter ZzZzzz on my work station

...........

..............

....................

Open eyes. @_@!!!! Aiks! It's already 1030

Still plenty of work to do

T_T

Continue with email to client for tomorrow's 9am shoot.

Must submit 3 months backdated claims. Or else all April claims will be forfeited! Most importantly I am super broke!

Preparation for tomorrow's site visit.

Boss punya overdue appraisal form submission. PA chased twice. Really beh tahan liao so I dropped her a mail and ask for extension till Thursday before lunch.

0230

Reached home

Thursday night at a cafe chatting with a friend on Facebook..............

CL: Wei

D: Yes darling

CL: Yesterday David gave good comments after looking at your photos. He said you have good eye for details. Very graphic and artistic angles

D: lol

CL: He asked you to work with him

D: Tell him to talk to YL

CL: Haha I din tell him you interview with them b4

D: lol

D: Btw, yesterday you look very exhausted. Me and Ken saw you napping while we walked past

CL: @_@!!!!! Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (Super duper pai seh)

CL: I must be sleeping and snoring with saliva dripping on the edge of my mouth. Hope you two saw me from far away.

CL: PAI SEH!!!!!!

D: lol. Just take more rest my friend

CL: Aurora not here sure tired.

I feel like digging a hole to hide my face. Shit!

If it was Ben who saw me napping, I'll die!!!

Motherfucking fridges

It's a sad life!

Imagine.
Working late. No dinner. Leaving office at 12.30am. Tired. Extremely hungry. Nearly gastric. Too dangerous to stop by to pack some decent food. Rushing home hoping there's some dishes in the kitchen. Reached home. Ignored the dogs. Very hungry. 1 more minute of hunger will end up eating gastric pills instead of food.

Rushed to the wet kitchen.
NO FOOD!!!

Checked fridge #1.
NO FOOD!!!

Checked fridge #2.
NO FOOD!!!

Headed on to the dry kitchen. Only alcohol and water.

For goodness sake!!! I just need something decent (never mind if its cold) which I can pop into my mouth within 5 minutes. Pulled drawer. Packs of instant noodle saying hi to me. No choice. Cooked and ate unwillingly.

Hate, hate, hate my mum's fridge. We have 2 fridges and yet there's no decent food. Not even milk or yogurt. Just raw vegetables, frozen meat and Chinese herbs. Motherfucking fridges!

Down cycle

Last week MK told me he's going thru a down cycle again. I feel the same too. Sigh.... 真的好想放一个有长的假期冷静一下。然后在想清楚我30岁的路程要如何处理。

Urgency to move

I have the urgency to move so badly! There's too much to bitch about. Too much sensitivity on the other channel. Hence, the move. Or maybe I am back with my loneliness. Hence, the need to blog.