Embracing myself in deep loneliness

I must be desperately bored and lonely because I am chatting with my X on facebook now. Out of everyone in the list, I chose to chat with him. It was just some casual chat but while chatting I am tearing in from of my lappy. It was not because I'm still in love with him. We broke up 5 years ago and I am pretty sure that the relationship has come to a full stop. Am very close to telling him that I am unhappy and lonely. I just want someone familiar which I once trusted and close to to know how I feel about life now. Let me shed some tears. Lend me a shoulder or chest for comfort. But I just don't have the guts to do so. Sigh...